Picture This in the Sand

Sometimes our family heads to the beach to draw a picture of our future in the sand. Tom and I started doing this ten years ago and we encouraged our kids to join in. My future always includes a picture of my dream home.

The home that has an open foyer and molding through out. The drawing in the sand just looks like random connected squares and rectangles, but the details are drawn in my mind along with the happy family that belongs inside of it.

My dream home is still being developed in my mind as I add new features like a kick plate and a step down tub. But the happy family is being developed each time we head to the beach to draw a picture of our future in the sand.

Hurry Before They Outgrow Their Clothes

I could have changed my 'Post Options' to make it look like I actually wrote this in January with its 2 lonely posts. And I should have because this post is all about my new motto for the new year.

Who finds their motto in February?

This year is in a hurry. I can tell. Just like my daughter hurrying to outgrow her clothes every 2 weeks. She should have been warned about her sudden sprouting every year for the past 12 years before she purchased 2 pair of jeans.

While she is celebrating trumping my height at 13, I'm celebrating a quote I came across in my most recent Amazon purchase.

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost. ~Martha Graham

This caused an inner reflection of how I express my uniqueness or even embrace it. Because embracing it is the step before expressing it. For me.

And maybe before that I actually accepted it.

And imagine if moment to moment to moment, I don't accept it. Unless I do. Trusting every decision is divinity unfolding; even the decision to ask, buy the book, and read the quote.

And just as if the momentum of this year isn't enough to cause immersion, the urgency of expressing this life force will be. For me.

As a mother, a wife, a sister, a friend, but mostly as a mother. I imagine if I don't accept, it's particularly awful for my children.

The energy is surging. And fast. About as fast as shrinking clothes.

Remember Indoor Soccer?

The kids have been patient. Tonight may have been a turning point. Or it may have just been that I was too sick to tell them to stop.

In Utah, we had a long and HUGE family room/kitchen space where the kids would play nerf soccer. Actually, we all played on the hardwood floor using a doorway and the space in between the island and the counter as goals.

It took months to notice the nerf ball slowly deteriorating, even though I'd vacuum the tiny yellow flakes daily. I didn't discard the ball until we moved back to California. It was death for both the ball and our hope for indoor soccer; the house here is tiny.

In April, when we pulled up the carpet and had the hardwood refinished in the living room, Makayla tried to revive the family sport.

I would have said, "yes", if...

... if it weren't for the original 1940's picture window in the front room of our house.

... if we weren't renting.

... if the space was bigger.

... I could go on.

But, something tonight made me remember. Remember how laid back I used to be to allow indoor soccer. The noise of their pounding feet, their yelling, their crying...their laughing. Something about it reminded me of me. Where have I been? They have been so patient.

Ordering Dessert, Please

I see progress. It's invisible to the average mother, but not to me. And in moments when Travis is noticed behaving, I smile briefly. If you only knew, you'd pat me on the back for this...or even give me a hug. Because heaven knows I deserve it.

I feel pressure, though. This is Travis' last year before I send him off to be cared for by others. I'm still waiting on my petition from heaven for more time. 

During recess at preschool, I was either patting myself on the back or taking pictures with my phone. These girls are the same girls who used to leave school wondering why the cutest boy in class ignored them. 

Matthew's kindness and willingness to play whatever girls want guarantees him lots of attention, but Travis has a completely different approach, which initially just confused the girls.   

Here they sit resting and quenching their thirst before they are chased by the monster, again. And when the monster fell, all the girls affectionately drew him chalk pictures on the concrete. 

I would have patted myself on the back if he hadn't ignored them, again.  Songs from Beauty and the Beast started playing in my head. Sigh...

My petition for a night alone was well deserved and answered just in time to save my children from further atrophy at home.

The kids packed themselves for a grandma sleep over this past weekend. If Matthew gets his socks wet 3 times, he's still very prepared. (This just makes me laugh out loud.)

Imagine my delight at the independence of it all.

After dinner, we came back to a very quiet house. 

And then it happened. In the quiet house, while meditating in the bath, a sudden, intuitive perception that got me talking more than Tom expected. 

My life is how I eat my dinner. Broccoli first. Get the ugly out of the way early, so I can enjoy the rest. 

I'm eating crab right now. And it's good, but I don't usually order dessert. And so...

I decided to order dessert. Not at the restaurant...in life. 

Crispy apple crumb. Coconut chocolate cheesecake. Frozen Yogurt. 

Heaven knows.

A Letter's Yearning

Dear Blogger:

I miss you and reading, but mostly you. Maybe I'll find some time this week to write about all the mountains I've climbed...about... 

~Me trading in my friend Ruby for Valerian (At least it seems that way.)

~A new possibility that opened up and the corresponding opportunities regarding passion.

~Revisiting parenting 101 and basic german shepherd. Please sit. 

~A loving reprimand that opened my heart space, wide. (Don't get any ideas...just because I take criticism well, except from my dh, doesn't give you the...)

~Mammas bidding Tuesday beach day goodbye in the water. 

~The beginning of school, soccer and order.

~A blast from my hillbilly past.

~The joy of remembering wholeness. I found some powers. 

Please be patient. You are still my passion.

Warmest Regards,

Me

Literally Random Thoughts and Laundry

I finally put away the 2 loads of laundry that had been glued to my bedroom floor for days. I heard the clothes' thoughts of disappointment as I placed them back into their proper places. 

Maybe the clothes heard my thoughts too.

1.  Missing Tom as I made the bed; appreciating the ease when there are 2 people. 

2. Sadly realizing it's getting more difficult to separate my clothes from my 12 year old daughter's.

3. Frustration because I couldn't kill the little green caterpillars climbing all over and eating my tomato leaves. 

4. Glad because the smaller sized clothes are finding their way back to the front of my closet.

6. Wishing parenting was rewarded based on the number of times a parent has to repeat a simple family rule. I'd be a freaking hero by now.

7. Worried that I need to up my game with my kids. Certainly the yelling and bad cooking can't be earning any points. What do I have to keep them coming back after they are grown? Put a pin in that one and come back to it later; remember, maybe laundry.

8. Chastising myself because I wasted time on facebook filling out the 'what is your purpose in life' questionnaire. 

9. Feeling victorious because I just became aware that renting library books could really save me money with Travis. He thinks he just bought 5 books. 

10. Feeling proud because the new parenting technique, you know who you are...fix it, actually works!

And yes, my thoughts are about as organized as the missing number 5. 

Spring Tan Lines and "Story of My Life"

All last week, I was talking to myself in 'blog posting' language, thinking of all the clever things I could write once I was through with my busy week. Now, it seems my thoughts and feelings are vain and removed from what I am currently experiencing. 

Some things are still noteworthy:

For instance, last Tuesday I hosted book club, and as I prepared my house for the arrival of the guests, I kept reminding myself to stay focused on the simple tasks of  food preparation and clean bathrooms and to leave the baseboard painting and bookshelf reorganization alone.

We discussed The History of Love, and I would like to mention I felt accomplished after everyone left.

Or take the conversation between my left and right brain regarding the semi-surprise birthday gathering. The lack of decorations or even balloons would give you a vague idea the left brain may have dominated or even won. 

Fright overtook my feeling of excitement as I emerged from finishing the DVD cover exclaiming, I didn't even get balloons.

My friend Mandy, who arrived first (and unfortunately left before this picture), reassured me that even though Karalea is predominantly right-brained, birthday balloons would have been an exaggerated accessory for such a fine celebration.  

The impromptu Happy Birthday banner still sits behind the door unseen and unneeded; the evening was a success.

(left to right: Cia, Peggy in front, Me, Karalea, Jenn and Susan (from Carlsbad)

Saturday I was invited to go hiking with Karalea and Mandy to Solstice Canyon in Malibu, CA. I took pictures of the burnt ruins along the way and great company.

This picture reminded me of certain moments in my life, when everything around me is beautiful and I am conspicuously standing there isolated, burnt...no charred.  

Being in nature always allows me to remember important life lessons and connects me to my spirit and to divinity. 

Once, we were climbing rocks and Karalea asked me, right or left. Without looking or feeling I confidently decided left. My decision to choose the harder route was great feedback reminding me there may be an easier way to accomplish the same thing if I would just look up.

I didn't take pictures of us sitting on a rock snacking on pop-rock, cayenne pepper chocolate,  gourmet licorice, or dried  hibiscus flowers. Or of us looking for the hidden Virgin Mary. Or even of the 'creepy' butterflies we saw and the life lesson to go along with them; just BE yourself. 

But oddly, I did take this picture, which is evidence of spring tan lines before flip-flops and of gardening, soccer games, jogging, and a perfect day of hiking.

Likely to Change

labile (LAY-byl) /adj./ open to change. likely to change. adaptable. constantly or readily undergoing change or breakdown. unstable.

1. For months now I've been too labile, too prone to my own intimidating thoughts about purchasing another piano. But Easter Sunday we moved in my new (well, USED) Baldwin. The piano was well loved even if it is a bit out of tune.  

Tonight as Matthew was finishing up homework, I sat to play my favorite piece of all time, "Clair de Lune" by Debussy. To my astonishment (or not), I can still play this piece. When I finished Matthew asked if I could play "Crazy Frog" by Axel F. Then he told me listening to me play the piano helped him concentrate better at homework. (his words)

I had to ask, which song? 

I proudly played, at his request, "Clair de Lune" again knowing his labile personality, funny and clever, never predictable, and capable of abrupt opinion changes.

2. Makayla's science project was due on Monday. The teacher approved an idea to make lollipops and take an opinion pole on whether homemade lollipops taste better than store bought lollipops. Well, I'd like to take a pole...really? What is scientific about that?

Anyway and luckily, Makayla and her partner couldn't coordinate schedules, so Makayla finished her project alone and added a more scientific element about dissolving sugar molecules.

Makayla is unaware of her lability, but I appreciate the way she goes with the flow in most situations. And anyway and luckily, there were no tears during this project. 

3. As soon as I committed to planting a garden weeks ago, the weather became so labile that between the weather and my threatening to-do list, gardening got put on the list next to organize the garage and alphabetize my spices.

Anyway and luckily, today is Earth Day and I made it home with a trunk full of cucumbers, cilantro, tomatoes, peppers, squash, peas, and fresh soil. 

Travis was in charge of filling the bucket and squirt guns to water the newly un-potted starters. Matthew dug the holes and pulled the roots out while reassuring the plants that they will be settled soon enough.

(today Travis was a zebra at school)

I locked myself away from my labile thoughts about what to plant in my front flower bed. I bought 2 palms, 3 ferns, and transplanted a generously growing green plant from my back yard. I found myself talking to the palms squished in the back of the van. 

You'll be fine. It isn't far. I know there isn't enough room for you to stand up back there. You are in good hands. 

But what I wanted to say, but didn't say was, Be afraid, be very afraid.

4. Each room gets lighter as I pass through gathering the rest of my garage sale items for Saturday. I might not be much more labile than Tom about recycling the excess, but I am certain we discussed replacing the leather chair with a better piece of furniture. If I include it in the garage sale, does that mean my proceeds must be used on the new furniture? This money is earmarked for a refinished hardwood floor!! (I know, I know, it's still not done. See: daunt)

I won't get too worked up over it yet, I'm selling inventory from my cleaning business on eBay and already recovered $198. But I am amazingly labile about what to do with the excess money raised from the garage sale and eBay. I'm open to new furniture, or a new wardrobe, or just a new bathing suit....sheesh those things are expensive!

Any Ordinary Week

My thoughts have been full of writing material, but I had plenty else to do. My camera has been shy lately leaving me empty handed as I sit at the computer tonight. 

My hands just completed a long awaited project sewing Makayla's 'outer' curtains; the easy ones that float to the floor. As I picked up my camera, she asked if I was going to blog about it. No. The inner curtains will be roman shades, pink ones. 

My nose has been in a book. I'll post about it when I'm finished, and it's oh so good!

My heart has been in launching Random Acts of Kindness Challenge Group and Blog. I have a vision for this group, and so far it has been a fun adventure. I was able to donate $84 for The Breast Cancer 3-day walk for my friend Kristi. She's gotten 24% of her funding so far. Go Kristi! You can get more information about it here.

My head has been running tax numbers; 

1099 

1098

AMT 

Pub. 4563 

Form 982

My deadline is April 15th, so there is an end insight. And this year, I'm only processing 2 business returns, 2 schedule C's, and 4 personal returns. It's a light year.

My body is completely dedicated to the Body for Life 12 week program. I am currently on week 5 and discouragement reared it's ugly head after I stepped on the scale at the gym on Tuesday.  Maybe my body is fighting back for all the years of neglect. As I sit here my hamstring is screaming after my track workout today. Nothing a little ice, compression and stretching won't soothe. 

My starving spirit fought against my ego this past week. Unfortunately, the ego won. I noticed my spirit cautiously return this afternoon. Breathe in, breathe out... Today is another day. Family, please forgive me. 

Two Surprise Visits and Evidence of One

This is me continually learning; a new word. 

esoteric /adj/ understood by or meant for only the select few who have special knowledge or interest. private. secret. confidential. belonging to the select few.

1. Wednesday I got a surprise call from my best friend. She just happened to be traveling with her husband to Long Beach on a business-related trip.  Her next two questions quickened my step.  How far do you live from Long Beach? and What are you doing tomorrow? 

Uh, thirty minutes. And hanging out with you!

I wanted to pick her up in a new Lexus; she would have probably cried. We grabbed a snack at a quaint ocean side cafe. Then we walked in the sand, sat under our umbrella and spoke of our esoteric interests and how we used to sing together often and loud.

Travis tagged along and took this picture. We were laughing so hard because he's only three and took it like he had practiced.

. 

OK, so this is where I live. 

2. Sometimes I become unconscious when I clean, clearing everything in my path and inaccurately classifying the clutter. Four empty water bottles - trash. Two gum wrappers - trash. One paper plate - trash. Two old card board boxes with tape and string - trash. 

Today I quietly considered why this trash happens to be on the floor through out the house anyway and not in the garbage. Sometimes, I'm not quiet about it. 

How was I to know Matthew's esoteric intentions. The leprechaun traps weren't labeled. 

After going to more than Three stores, I found the perfect leprechaun sized evidence. Those tricky leprechauns!

3. I agreed to host book club for the month of April, which includes having a bunch of ladies over for a discussion and refreshments. It sounds simple, and yet, the voice in my head turns the commitment into something that feels like defeat. 

I suggested the book, The History of Love for April's book choice; probably because it's the only book I thought everyone might not have already read and because I liked reading it.  Maybe I should have suggested East of Eden.

I got three packages in the mail this week that looked just like this one.

Three new books because of our esoteric club of women. Esoteric probably doesn't fit here, but I was excited about the packages and hosting book club is something on my mind lately. Letting go of my ego on this one, the gathering will be perfect. 

4. My Uncle and cousin were in town yesterday from Mesa, Arizona and joined our family for Matthew's first baseball game, which was a success after his earlier feelings of nervousness. He was 100% at bat.

In visiting with me while I made cookies for the fireside, my uncle asked How are your siblings and which one of you got your mom's temper. Many things became very clear at that moment, and I joined his esoteric circle of trust. Makayla was the first one to offer it was probably me. Matthew asked What is a temper? 

I always thought the temper came from my Dad's Irish/German side, I looked up with dough and flour down my front, Was her temper learned behavior?

Probably the Indian in us. 

 

Of course, the tribal beliefs.

Makayla brought home the empty plate of cookies from church. When I made it through the line, they were all gone. 

 

Matthew said, Damn. Part of me wanted to burst out laughing. Instead I told him, That's a swear word and we don't use that word. 

What I wanted to say was, That word is probably too strong for this moment. Wait until you've lost your temper. 

A Postcard and a Penny.

In my search to find a postcard, I found they no longer exist which you probably already knew. And so I chose easy and asked my angels to create one for me. 

Did you happen to bring home a postcard? I wanted to ask Tom when he came in from roofing that day. Maybe I'll just wait until he presents it to me. 

Hun, I visited a specialty shop I frequent in L.A. today and picked up this postcard. Thought you might enjoy it. 

Who am I kidding? 

Today after my workout at the gym I did find extra time, so I asked the cashier at CVS where the post cards were.  She laughed; apparently she knows they no longer exist.

I drove to the trendy shops near my favorite grocery store and was relieved to finally find an actual postcard. And yet, I was uncertain of the difficulty in my week-long search.

Until I saw this...

I have a thing for pocket tokens. I sent Makayla's Grammy one for Valentine's just like this one and it reminded me of her. This newly purchased token has a destiny, definitely, I thought.

Strangely enough or not, the token I sent Grammy had fallen out of the envelope while traveling to Colorado making my letter writing seem void until our brief conversation today. I say brief because 35 minutes talking with Evalyn is brief. 

And then. 

Heads up. Of course, thank you angels. 

Word of this Past Week

interminable /adj./so long as to seem endless. never stopping. having no limits.

It didn't occur to me that I would feel a void without my piano.  What did occur to me was I could rent a piano until I am ready to actually invest in one. So, I went searching.

How much are these to rent? 85 dolla I raised my eyebrows skeptically. Then my eyes darted over to a Baldwin-not for rent,-that appealed to me more. We give you money spend on piano when you buy. Full credit. 

We probably won't buy a piano until we are more settled. (After having said this, I dismissed a negative thought with the promise of some day really settling.)

It better to buy $1500 than rent. You get credit full for trade. Bring back. Full credit.

I ran my fingers up and down 4 different pianos, yet only liking the one not for rent. Oh, wait.

You like dis one? 

Suddenly, the one that was previously only for sale now became available for rent. Must be my lucky day. 85 dolla too.

When you bring back, money you pay go for credit. Buy baby grand.

Her interminable sales pitch made me uneasy; and I determined right then she would sell me to the wolves if I'd let her. Maybe I'll find a private owner, get a good deal and buy before I settle. 

interminable /adj./ I've been reflective this past week because of the randomness of my life. I wouldn't be able to articulate what I do daily besides the interminable loads of laundry and massive disorder. 

In honoring my 2009 motto to live as though dying would bring sadness to the world, I am pleased to announce I am in creation mode. And that's all for now.

interminable /adj./ Thankfully it's Thursday night and my first grader has finished his interminable homework. 

We both look forward to Fun Friday, as our friends call it. No homework, and baseball practice; what could be better for a 6 year old boy. 

Today we practiced throwing and catching in the back yard at grandma's house. And I'm also very excited to see his new hip action when he swings the bat. He is a natural. 

What wasn't exciting was the interminable crying and whining coming from his brother who was cold and tired. But we came home and had breakfast for dinner, which seemed to cheer him up. 

12 Day Highlight; I AM the Goddess of Love

I love writing on my blog. I love writing. It's been 12 days since my last post, and the longest dry spell since I started this in August.

And since I have nothing clever to say, and since I thought if I wrote something it might break the spell here goes.

My life in the past 12 days: (and yes, I consulted my email to remind myself what I've been up to lately)

1. Successfully launched www.curtisroofing.net

2. Soccer playoffs Saturday AND Sunday. Runner-up Area Finals. Blue Cheese. (That's the team name. Don't ask)

3. Book club for the book I didn't finish and decided to continue to read. "Marley and Me" 

4. Pre-celebration for Makayla's 12th birthday with breakfast in bed, Board of Honor, and new shin guards.

5. Successful trip to Utah with Makayla and without any boys. 

6. Claimed the goddess in me.  Remembered the glorious truths about being a woman. Celebrated my dance.

7. Ate in restaurants by myself. I get to remember to do this often in California.

8. 6 loads of laundry, reorganizing the house after my absence (Tom did a pretty good job while I was gone), hugging ALL of my boys.

9. Crashing. Oh, ya I have responsibilities. 

10. Makayla's post-birthday family dinner at Souplantation. 

11. Preparations for Makayla's Fiesta on Friday. Pinata, margaritas, balloons, home-made place-mats, guacamole, salsa, tacos, fried ice cream.

12. Preparations for Blue Cheese award party next Tuesday. 

13. Preparations for Preschool Fundraiser Saturday.

Upcoming blogs: Valentine's Day (my favorite holiday), My Birthday 

 

I LOVE FEBRUARY.

Oh, did I mention my Utah trip. Here's the car I got to drive while I was there. It corners like it's on rails and goes at least 90 mph on the freeway.

Word of the Past Week

daunt. /v/ to frighten; overcome with fear.  to discourage; lessen the courage of.

End of the Year Tax Season - I opened the business accounts and shockingly found I hadn't made an entry in our accounting software since July. Of course. Who else is going to enter the information? 

This job can daunt those without much affection for accounting, but since I've dreamed of being an accountant since I was 6 (no joke); this is exciting. I've been glued to my computer chair for more than a day and the children are capitalizing on my neglect.  

Mom, can I ....? (fill in the blank) Yes.

Painting the hall and 3 bedrooms - The huge size of this project does not daunt me. I knew I would be painting it eventually and I actually like painting especially with my new $11 brush. The biggest challenge is involving the children without destroying floor, clothes, and my sanity.

Refinishing Hardwood Floor - Last Saturday afternoon, I came home to a most beautiful hardwood floor revealed in our front living space. I am assuming Tom was tired of the ugly, dirty white carpet left by the previous tenants.

This is the most daunting project as it started over a week ago and then Tom bruised his heel bone. Here is the current state of the project. 

Building Websites - Just as soon as I committed to my painting project, which requires an abstention to all other areas of life and home, my husband asked me to build his website. 

Although I love messing around on the computer for any reason, the timing couldn't be more daunting. Especially since a business associate in Utah called last Friday to restart her website project that should have been completed last year. 

Makayla's Birthday - Makayla no longer has to fly as an unaccompanied minor. Her upcoming flight is 1 day before she turns 12, but I'll be with her as we fly to Utah together. She is so glad to never have to wear this silly blue UM pass again!

At 12, she flies as an 'adult', which doesn't seem to daunt her a bit. But not much of anything does, except maybe homework. 

7+1 Revision to Rays

7. + 1. Beach Days, Tuesdays

Not sure how this one hid in the deep part of my pocket, but it was definitely there. Beach Days are my favorite on so many different levels and especially because of the new friends I found.

As I get to know each of these new friends, I realize personality characteristics created that don't even have names yet.

Here is the best descriptions I can present:

• Curious non-judgmental spoken mind
• Unparalleled self-taught creativity and passion
• Unexpected courageous spiritual communion
• Sobering powerful teacher
• Creative compassionate service
• Divine and conscious grace

And how sad I don't have a picture of my new friends. This year I'll bring my camera.

7 Rays of Sunshine

Appropriately, this post should have been organized before the Hello Motto, and I thought I should abandon it.  Then I realized. My pocket is overflowing with the great and wonderful new favorites I have or found in 2008. 

1. Half Moon

Bikram Yoga became a favorite for me in 2008. Every move in Yoga is an expression with the body and evokes emotion, which is why I created my vision board. 

2. Red Scarf

Whoever is still wearing the red scarf I lost several years ago can be at ease because my dear grandmother-in-law made me another one. I love scarves and got a new one for Christmas, but this red one is my favorite. Or as my own grandmother would say, fav-oh-right.

3. East of Eden

If you've read half of my posts, this is not surprising to you. However, I can't remember if I ever recommended it to you. OK. Just one more quote:

I seem to know that there's a part of you missing.  Some men can't see the color green, but they may never know they can't. But I wonder whether you ever feel that something invisible is all around you. It would be horrible if you knew it was there and couldn't see it or feel it. That would be horrible. (p.382)

That quote brought me clarity; much more clarity than I expected from this book. Also, this book should have an index.

4. Running

The best part of running is when I'm finished, actually. I love my down time, my extra energy, my healthy heart, my guilt-free hand-full of M&M's.  I also love the rhythm of the run, running partners, the sound of my own feet, the first tenth of a mile and the last. 

5. Travis Exiting Circle Time

At the end of preschool, I greet Travis as he exits the circle time room. As Travis runs toward me with an open heart, I am filled with joy; or maybe it's excitement and love. Matthew attended the same preschool, so this isn't something new. And the joy, excitement and love I felt isn't new either. Choosing joy, excitement and love when I feel the opposite is new. 

This is my attempt at capturing the moment. The reason I don't have 8 Rays of sunshine is because I didn't get a new favorite camera. 

6. Ashwood

The interior of my Utah house was painted Shenandoah Taupe, which was my first love of a paint color. I loved it not being able to comprehend love for any other color. And yet, sitting in Starbucks I found Ashwood. 

 

Brilliant. 

7. Blackberries

...are the new prunes. Blackberries. Cheese. Walnuts. Water.  I could eat this as a combo every day for an entire year. 

What are your favorites for 2008?  

Hello Motto.

"East of Eden" is my favorite read for 2008 and my favorite gift this past Christmas unless I consider "The History of Love" or my new blanket. 

After my friend challenged me to find my motto for 2009, I've been seeking for the perfect inspirational words and then tonight without any provocation there they were as quoted from "East of Eden".

It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world.

Page 413 is dog eared as well as 100 other amazing pages in that book. I actually got 2 copies for Christmas; one for marking the next time I read it, and the other for marking the time after the next. 

Hello Motto!

Word of the Moment.

dissever /v/. to separate or part; sever.

1. I purchased for the first time in 12 years (or Tom purchased) a brand new dining room table. The garage swallowed the old cardboard table and metal chairs, and surprisingly, the new table transformed the room and warmed it. 

This morning, the boys were sitting nicely at the table coloring when I noticed Travis had the markers that had previously been dissevered from the coloring bucket. Thankfully, the green streak wiped right off the beautiful finish. And then, I remembered why I had a cardboard table in the first place. 

2. Sitting at my new table this morning typing some emails and making phone calls I was privy to a darling conversation between Matt and Travis.

Travis: Matt, I'm farting a little.

Matt: Good job, Travis. Mom, did you hear that? Travis is farting a little. 

Travis: No, I can fart a lot.

Matt: Travis, if you want to fart a lot, you have to put your arm up a little. After a few more armpit farts. Good job, you are getting there.

Usually my response to these common conversations in our home is to dissever the culpable offender from my presence, but today I just laughed (inside) and pretended to be busy typing away.

3. Our family is starting a new Christmas tradition, which is inspired from a friend at church and which dissevers our attention from what isn't as important during this time of year. Some of our lasting traditions include:

decorating the tree together

making and eating Christmas bark

making or buying a new ornament

reading Christmas stories together

reading from an advent calendar about Mary and Joseph, their journey and the birth of Christ

giving gifts to friends for the 12 days of Christmas

creating dinners and giving them away

And now...

We have several nativity sets displayed in our home, and we've removed the baby Jesus from each and placed them in a gift box under the tree. On Christmas morning and before we open gifts, we'll unwrap the baby Jesus and return him to the stable rude. By doing this rather than opening worldly gifts first, I will happen to dissever myself and vanish from the privileges of men for those moments to remember His ultimate gift. His forever love and kindness. 

4.  Makayla got in the van after school complaining of a wiggly tooth. Remembering I didn't deposit money under her pillow after her last lost tooth, I cleverly asked, "How much money did the tooth fairy give you last time?"

"None." 

"Oh, the tooth fairy probably doesn't leave money if the dentist has to pull the tooth." I improvised.

"Wellll, actually, the tooth fairy did leave money for the last tooth the dentist pulled. It was at my dad's." she argued.

"Oh, well that explains it. Your dad left the money and not the tooth fairy because tooth fairies don't leave money if the dentist has to pull it." I explained as I was driving and heard her chuckle and assumed she probably rolled her eyes.

"Mom, you're the tooth fairy. I've known for a long time, but I just play along to get money." she admitted right in front of her 2 brothers. 

At this moment I could not dissever her sufficiently from the age of believing in fictional characters. And yet, I suspected she had years ago.