generous means...

generous means...noble

For those playing along and interested, I just posted the FIRST Random Acts of Kindness Challenge. BE a part of it here.

The Opposite of Balance, Stability, or Equilibrium

It seems I've become unbalanced, again. I started a training program to get ready for a triathlon that I've recently decided not to do. (I know, I know disappointing) And yet, I'm still training to get in better shape. (whatever that means)

The training is stealing time with early morning workouts, newly needed and well deserved afternoon naps, preparing 3 more meals a day. Slowly, the signs of steady deterioration appear around the house. 

My children probably don't know how to verbalize the neglect, but I know it's there.  Maybe hot dogs and macaroni and cheese for dinner last night pushed Matthew over the edge.  I took this as an outward action for inner confusion. 

1.wake up 

2. eat brekfist

3.git rete (get ready)

4.go to skool

5. play

6. doo hom wrk

7. eat riht (eat right...followed by)

8. hav tret (treat)

9. play

10. slep

The best part of this to-do list is twice the play time. I too found time to play today:

1. wake up

2. work out (this morning, ran 4.5 miles)

3. bathe while sipping protein shake reading book

4. get kids to school

5. eat breakfast

6. go to workshop

7. pick up #1 kid

8. lunch with Tom

9. pick up #2 kid

10. nap (while Tom picks up kid #3)

11. meal #4

12. play

13. taxi

14. dinner

15. taxi

16. target

17. clean

18. meal #6

19. play

20. sleep

Random Acts of Kindness Challenge

Today I've launched Random Acts of Kindness Challenge, and I'm inviting you to join and be a part of this fun process. Please invite your friends, too.

I've added a link in my menu above, or you can click on the image below to take you to the Random Acts of Kindness Challenge blog page. 

Thank you!

Shout Out

Amazing FREE photo session with talented photographer from Utah. 

Check out Lizzy's Photos. 

If you don't live in Utah, you could always gift the FREE session to a friend or family member you know living there. Here's to you Melissa B.!

Two Surprise Visits and Evidence of One

This is me continually learning; a new word. 

esoteric /adj/ understood by or meant for only the select few who have special knowledge or interest. private. secret. confidential. belonging to the select few.

1. Wednesday I got a surprise call from my best friend. She just happened to be traveling with her husband to Long Beach on a business-related trip.  Her next two questions quickened my step.  How far do you live from Long Beach? and What are you doing tomorrow? 

Uh, thirty minutes. And hanging out with you!

I wanted to pick her up in a new Lexus; she would have probably cried. We grabbed a snack at a quaint ocean side cafe. Then we walked in the sand, sat under our umbrella and spoke of our esoteric interests and how we used to sing together often and loud.

Travis tagged along and took this picture. We were laughing so hard because he's only three and took it like he had practiced.

. 

OK, so this is where I live. 

2. Sometimes I become unconscious when I clean, clearing everything in my path and inaccurately classifying the clutter. Four empty water bottles - trash. Two gum wrappers - trash. One paper plate - trash. Two old card board boxes with tape and string - trash. 

Today I quietly considered why this trash happens to be on the floor through out the house anyway and not in the garbage. Sometimes, I'm not quiet about it. 

How was I to know Matthew's esoteric intentions. The leprechaun traps weren't labeled. 

After going to more than Three stores, I found the perfect leprechaun sized evidence. Those tricky leprechauns!

3. I agreed to host book club for the month of April, which includes having a bunch of ladies over for a discussion and refreshments. It sounds simple, and yet, the voice in my head turns the commitment into something that feels like defeat. 

I suggested the book, The History of Love for April's book choice; probably because it's the only book I thought everyone might not have already read and because I liked reading it.  Maybe I should have suggested East of Eden.

I got three packages in the mail this week that looked just like this one.

Three new books because of our esoteric club of women. Esoteric probably doesn't fit here, but I was excited about the packages and hosting book club is something on my mind lately. Letting go of my ego on this one, the gathering will be perfect. 

4. My Uncle and cousin were in town yesterday from Mesa, Arizona and joined our family for Matthew's first baseball game, which was a success after his earlier feelings of nervousness. He was 100% at bat.

In visiting with me while I made cookies for the fireside, my uncle asked How are your siblings and which one of you got your mom's temper. Many things became very clear at that moment, and I joined his esoteric circle of trust. Makayla was the first one to offer it was probably me. Matthew asked What is a temper? 

I always thought the temper came from my Dad's Irish/German side, I looked up with dough and flour down my front, Was her temper learned behavior?

Probably the Indian in us. 

 

Of course, the tribal beliefs.

Makayla brought home the empty plate of cookies from church. When I made it through the line, they were all gone. 

 

Matthew said, Damn. Part of me wanted to burst out laughing. Instead I told him, That's a swear word and we don't use that word. 

What I wanted to say was, That word is probably too strong for this moment. Wait until you've lost your temper. 

Soy Una Pizza

Travis and I went to see Charlotte Diamond Live. Part of me wondered if I would experience another melt down similar to the Pat & Oscar's pizza field trip. Thankfully, we didn't have to wash our hands at the Performing Arts Center.

Travis danced in his seat and let me manipulate his hands from above like stings attached to his limbs like a puppet. Half way through, he took off his shoes, climbed in my lap, and curled up burying his head. It's enjoyable still being able to hold him, and yet, I'm concerned about his upcoming transition to Kindergarten.

After the concert, we went to the park, ate lunch, fed the good (mallard) ducks,(as opposed to the seagulls) and played on the playground. I really enjoyed my alone time with Travis today. 

Makayla was upset when she heard we had been to the Crunchy Carrot concert. How much did it cost?  $8. That's not fair. Makayla when you were 3, you went to Barney. Still.

A Postcard and a Penny.

In my search to find a postcard, I found they no longer exist which you probably already knew. And so I chose easy and asked my angels to create one for me. 

Did you happen to bring home a postcard? I wanted to ask Tom when he came in from roofing that day. Maybe I'll just wait until he presents it to me. 

Hun, I visited a specialty shop I frequent in L.A. today and picked up this postcard. Thought you might enjoy it. 

Who am I kidding? 

Today after my workout at the gym I did find extra time, so I asked the cashier at CVS where the post cards were.  She laughed; apparently she knows they no longer exist.

I drove to the trendy shops near my favorite grocery store and was relieved to finally find an actual postcard. And yet, I was uncertain of the difficulty in my week-long search.

Until I saw this...

I have a thing for pocket tokens. I sent Makayla's Grammy one for Valentine's just like this one and it reminded me of her. This newly purchased token has a destiny, definitely, I thought.

Strangely enough or not, the token I sent Grammy had fallen out of the envelope while traveling to Colorado making my letter writing seem void until our brief conversation today. I say brief because 35 minutes talking with Evalyn is brief. 

And then. 

Heads up. Of course, thank you angels. 

Sometimes I'd Rather Just Have a Map

I just shelved another great book in my front room. Peace Like a River by Leif Enger.

My favorite type of fiction connects with my spirit, speaks truths, and alludes to mysteries. This book does suggest mystery in miracles and it was an enjoyable read until the very end.  I'll say it's a personal prejudice, and yet, I would recommend the book, definitely.

Page 134 is the only dog ear you'll find in my copy and because of this quote:

"Where do we go from [here]?" He didn't know. We'd simply go forth, he said, like the children of Israel when they packed up and cameled out of Egypt.  He meant to encourage me. Just like us, the Israelites hadn't any idea where they'd end up! Just like us, they were traveling by faith! Indeed, it did impart a thrill, yet the trip thus far in the frigid and torpid Pymouth had reminded me what a hard time the chosen people actually had of it. Once traveling, it's remarkable how quickly faith erodes. It starts to look like something else - ignorance, for example. Same thing happened to the Israelites sure it's weak, but sometimes you'd rather just have a map."

In this book, the narrator is an 11 year old boy and easy to relate to. The father is faithful and a creator of miracles which reminded me of my own angel mother. While folding laundry and doing dishes, I found my heart with young Reuben Land and his daring adventure. Life is either that or nothing at all.

The author is talented, and I will definitely read his other books, The Story of Edgar Sawtell and So Brave, Young, and Handsome. 

After I read These is My Words, Peony in Love, and Sarah's Key; not necessarily in that order. 

Refilling the Tank

assuage (uh-SWAYJ) /v/  to make milder or less severe. to reduce the intensity. to soothe or calm. to pacify.

1. After my post the other day about the choice to be a mother and eluding to the daily entropy, I thought I would post the good news. 

Today I woke to this.

We have two bowls; Spider man and Super man. It's a morning ritual to race to the table first to get the Spider man bowl. The significance of this picture is that Matthew actually made it to the table first this morning, yet here is the Spider man bowl untouched. 

My bet is he knew my limit was reached, so he left the bowl to assuage the ensuing screams that would surely melt me into a heap on the kitchen floor.

2. Do you want to know how to assuage a toddler? Walk home with him from preschool in the rain. It's a short distance and at least he won't cry or kick you. His request was innocent, and even though I wondered if I'd have to call for pickup half-way through, we enjoyed ourselves all the way home.

3. After the walk I took a nap.  Who wants to admit they need a nap?  I took it anyway because I could today. It rained and Tom stayed home to spend time with Matthew. I figured he deserved to stay home from school after continuously staring out the window for 9 days straight waiting for Tom's return to assuage his loneliness.

4. Travis didn't seem to mind Tom being gone because he was busy pushing all my buttons and wearing me down moment by moment testing every barrier of entry into my failure as a mother, including the most common I'm scared of my bed routine after ten o'clock at night.

Well.

I guess the anticipation of reprieve came at last, assuage always well deserved. Tom offered to go grocery shopping for me. Ah! 

And then.

5. Matthew came to ask me what I wanted, he was picking up 4 other things on his own personal list. He planned on getting chocolate for Makayla, specifically m&m's, and pink gum for Travis (oh I hope it's sugar free). Now that I've been on my exercise and restrictive eating for 4 days, I couldn't think of one approved thing to assuage my cravings.

Don't worry Mom, you don't have to think of anything. I know just what I'm going to get for you. What followed next filled my exhausted tank overflowing and it was Travis' soft cheek next to mine followed by his own words, I love you SO much mom. Hold.

Then, this.

How did he know sugar-free gum would assuage me during this time of restraint? Of course, he knows. Of course.

6. One last word on this. A little random. Travis earned this special honor for being a terrific kid last week. 

His dinner selections included waffles, fruit by the foot, and home-made syrup. Then at the last minute he added apples to presumably disguise the dinner for what it was and possibly assuage the effects of a very unhealthy meal.