Wasn't Void of Sweetness

Christmas Break this year included a two week void from school for everyone including me. It was also a void from our normal trips to the grocery store, bed times, spending habits, or the sites of our only teenager.

Yesterday at the grocery store the clerk asked me personal questions about my kids, their ages, their schools and it was all curious at first until I realized I knew him from somewhere and he was trying to remember too. I either had a lot of groceries or he was slow, but through our conversation I discovered our daughters played soccer together and that he was seriously struggling with his. He seemed to be searching for familiarity, but I'm not exaggerating when I say second grade and age 3 were harder than this teenage stuff so far.

I'm also not exaggerating when I say I knew I'd miss Makayla terribly while she was gone the entire Christmas Break. So, before she left, I made her a kit of daily survival things, which included at least a family picture, our favorite sweets, and a new soccer house-key for her return after the void.
My daily survival things included sweet things too like a trip to a chocolatier place in Los Angeles with some friends. We all agreed the amount of hot chocolate we were served was perfect with its sweet chocolate taste, cayenne pepper, fresh cream, and real powdered cocoa.

But I'll have to say the sweetest part of the Christmas Break came the afternoon after we left the chocolatier shoppe when my sister kept calling me to ask if she could come visit and bring her husband, 4 daughters, and 2 dogs. They arrived Thursday night, December 30th, and stayed long enough to go with us to a New Year's Eve party at our friend's house.

I don't think they were eager to go, and my sister's only teenager was disappointed to be there without her cousin. But she never complained. Neither did my sister. Here they were on New Year's Eve bravely going along with our silly ways, playing games and not knowing anyone.

They kept me distracted and content and happy in our backyard on the new trampoline, shopping, playing board games, and keeping me up way past my bedtime. My niece followed me around the kitchen while she was here. Maybe her mom prompted her to, but maybe she feared that without Makayla I would be hurled into the void of all sweetness so she stayed with me, talking to me, asking me questions, helping me.

She stayed just in time for Makayla's return on Sunday. And although I cried a little when they all left, the sweetness stayed. In fact, she stayed in bed all day sleeping because she brought home a cold and a void of her own.

I Can Read Louder Than A Megaphone

The night Santa came megaphoning down our street, the boys were in bed, and I was reading Harry Potter to them by 7:30pm. Thankfully, this was no indication of what the holiday season was like. It was just a day. A day when Tom was working late and my patience wasn't.

As the flashing amber lit police car shouted through the neighborhood getting closer and closer, I successfully read louder and louder. I wondered if I would regret not letting them sit on Santa's lap like all the kids on our street. They wouldn't have missed it because they were almost asleep. But it didn't matter.

Tom made it home in record time and before 8pm and came hurdling in the house jumping piles of laundry and my frustration to stir them just in time, so they never missed a thing.


Makayla missed it, but not because she was asleep or in Utah. She was still at church group and didn't leave for Utah until the 20th. We celebrated traditionally by picking our Christmas tree, decorating it, going to dinner before Makayla left, enjoying home made hot chocolate and pressurized whipped cream on our noses, and opening gifts early.

Makayla got a snuggie, shoes, new bed sheets, and a crystal lamp. Matt got a ground force drifter and a star wars apron. Travis got an ez roller and bey blades. I got my orbital sander, and I didn't get jewelry. Tom got the Unit on DVD.

Oh, and I got chocolate in my stocking, which I should have opened early with the family gifts before Makayla left. Then, I could have eaten it on the day Santa came megaphoning down our street.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Maybe He'll Wear Suits When He's 11

Travis woke up excited about a loose tooth.

Well.

Just like that, he grew up. So, now after I finish ironing our Sunday clothes, I just leave the hot iron right on the board unsupervised. I let him make his own waffles and drive himself to school and back.

No.

He hasn't actually lost the tooth yet. I'll post a picture after he does. Here's his before picture...

My initial thought was to grab Tom and tell him to book a trip where we are gone a long time and come back pregnant or else.

I hadn't imagined an extended feeling of regret for not having more children or any regret for that matter. I've been disciplined for 'content' my entire life. And yet, after days and days, I am still wondering if I was supposed to stop at 3.

Last Thursday, I asked my friend if she felt the same when her youngest lost his first tooth and she shook her head back and forth and replied, "Nope." (Could she be more convincing in her resolve?)

So, it's all my fault. See? Tom and I had a debate about this, but I was too stubborn and too worried and too stubborn to consider it until now, when Travis is almost 6 and toothless and can read and pour his own milk...in a cup.

But whether I choose to have number four or not, doesn't really matter. He keeps growing and so does Matthew and Makayla. (Look at her up in that photo above? She was 8 then. See what I mean?)

Before I know it, Travis will be ironing his own Sunday shirts. That's the plan at least...except he's stubborn and worried and stubborn about church.

He told his cousins last weekend he will never wear a suit...

Nope.
Nope.
I won't do it.
Nope.

But maybe in 6 years, when he is almost old enough to pass the sacrament and makes his own living, he will consider what he missed by not wearing a suit, why he wears his play clothes under his church clothes, and if he should change his mind about the whole stubborn decision he made when he was only 5.

Ten Plus Ten = Thirty

It's better to walk home from my MIL's house than walk to because of the big hill. It's also better to clean up after the kids myself if I'm in a hurry because the kids don't mind. I've also heard it's better to kill two birds with one stone. So, goes my life and all the analysis behind practicalities and the measure of success achieved from each task performed.

Me: (As I was combing Matt's hair before church) I'll pay you $10 to cut your hair.
Dad: (From the other room) I'll pay you $20. (Meaning...I'll raise it by $10)
Matt: That's 30 dollars!

And so, it made perfect sense to offer Matthew $10 to cut his hair. I'm not ashamed of the bribery because it seemed adequate to the end result.

I swept his hair in a pile along with his secrets and veil of self reluctance after I finished. Some people hide behind their mustaches and their glasses and their hair, using these things to secure their hearts and their private doubts. I prayed to have the tools useful for healing his heart and doubts. Somehow, I know he finally chose the letting go and the trust and the acceptance and not just the $30.

Disneyland is a Consequence

My head hit the pillow, and I fell asleep thinking about how to reward the kids and their good behavior while it lasts. Not that the good behavior won't last, but because I learned to be the punishing 'mom type'. You know the kind, ready to deliver the 'consequence' just as soon as the good behavior stops.

My sister-in-law reminded me children respond better to a rewarding 'mom type'. You know the kind, always making charts with stickers and smile faces and offering 'compensation' just as soon as the good behavior starts.

It's a glass is half empty/full idea as it relates to parenting.
But really it's more. It's about saying I appreciate your contribution to the family without having to say I appreciate your contribution to the family because I think they know when you take them to Disneyland for a job well done.

But I told them anyway, that I appreciated their contribution to the family and exactly why they were being rewarded^**, and I didn't even have to make a chart.

^**(The family has read scripture every day without complaint since the beginning of school.)

A Post With No Pics

My unnatural way to blog:

Take pictures.

Wait days, weeks, and sometimes months to upload them to the computer.

Try to recall and write about the latest pictures.

And so I checked the memory card in my camera for new photos since soccer started 2 months ago, and found 'Card is Empty'. I wasn't shocked. I know I didn't take pictures of Dallas, Halloween, our Annual Family Camping Trip to Carlsbad or any daily things either.

An empty camera doesn't mean that life isn't happening, though. And all the things a mother should know about her family and specifically her children can sometimes be stored on her camera.

But mine is empty lately, which is why I've had to ask if Travis lost teeth, or why he's not wearing his blue shoes any more, or how Matthew got a 'birth mark' at age 8, or if he's grown an inch because his socks are showing again, or why I found scissors on the sink and Makayla's hair on the floor, or...

Why you didn't start a model train hobby instead?

I've been a little distracted.

I went to Dallas for a convention to learn another massage modality using essential oils, and I also got to visit my brother and his wife and daughter while I was there. I stayed on the 9th floor of the hotel and used the stairs every time and ate only healthy foods except that one night when I ate a Reese's candy bar from the vending machine, which got stuck before I bought and ate a Snickers bar too. I had Texas BBQ with my brother and then met his house and dogs and outdoor grill for a fun stay-up-laughing-and-talking-all-night kind of visit before boarding the plane at 6am the next day.

And this year marked our fourth or sixth annual camping trip to Carlsbad, I can't remember. We made the most of our Halloween with my sister Tiffany and her family there for several days in tents near the ocean. Our traditions have grown from famous ribs in year one to costumes, carnival, pumpkin carving, Rockin' Lobster, Leucadia Pizzeria, Disneyland(for Tiff's family), and famous ribs in year whatever now.

Matthew dressed as a wolverine and Travis was Bumble Bee the transformer and Makayla was a gypsy...no a nerd and a village person, I think. Not that I could check the camera to be sure, anyway.

This Year I Cheer

The beginning of school comes right before the beginning of soccer and the beginning of sub sandwiches on the sidelines and umbrellas for too much rain or too much sun and muddy cleats and sore throats from cheering and yelling. There is a difference you know...between cheering and yelling.

This year is a good one for soccer. I can tell because the games don't overlap and the weather is nice and I'm no longer yelling.

Makayla has been able to play all positions this year, which is strengthening her dribbling skills. They tell me she scored last weekend when I was out of town and had an assist on goal, which doesn't surprise me.

A dad on Matt's team mentioned to me that he wanted his very own team of 11 boys just like Matthew because he is a hustler. Although I'm "team mom" by default, I'm glad Tom is the one coaching, so I can enjoy the game this year behind the white coaching line.

Travis is scoring in every game now and is very focused the entire time. He understands the game and doesn't have to share the ball like Makayla did or run around the field in a flight pattern like Matthew.

He prefers the games to practices and rebels a little on Wednesdays at 4 when he's reminded it's practice time and not game time. He'd be really upset if I told him he missed a soccer game because we went out of town for a family camping trip.


You might remember this annual trip that comes after school starts and after soccer starts and after we are tired of school routines and homework and busy weekends full of things other than soccer.

Pants With Holes Gets Girls

These pants wore at the knee faster than at the ankle and not because Matthew isn't getting taller faster.

I begged Matthew to stop doing whatever was causing the holes in the knees. He stopped.

Later, much later, I found out he lost a girl over it. The holes were proof of fun and proof that Matthew really is Toothless the Dragon or a leopard.

I told him not every girl liked Toothless and that some girls even liked boys with hole-less pants. And then, I bought him new jeans for a new school year.

I bought new jeans for Travis too because this year he started Kindergarten. He's ready.

He can tie his own shoe and write his own name and make new friends and feed himself. Every day I see his face change and grow and sparkle. And I wonder if I'll remember a time when he would cling to my leg and close his eyes so no one could see him.

Makayla bought her own jeans because she can. She started the 8th grade this year and she walks herself to school and back home everyday. She also brushes her new braces and makes her own lunch and uses her own house key if I'm not home. She is a marvel and a wonder and a joy to behold.
We kept a pair of Matthew's holey pants in the closet, but he chose not to wear them to school the first day. But he did decide to wear a belt around his waste area not in the loops. (As seen in the photo below) This was the first and last attempt at this new fashion idea.

In 3rd grade the children were instructed to sit boy-girl-boy-girl on the first day, which increased Matthew's chance of finding a new girlfriend this year. As I left, I could have told him to use his wit or his kindness or charm to find her, but instead whispered that I didn't mind whether or not his pants had holes.

Maybe We're Friends Planning a Wedding

You know those picture frames displayed at wedding receptions with the bride and groom as children? That's why I'm keeping this one; for posterity and also for good luck.
And having the kids sit on the couch, so we could cement this memory in our cameras is brought to you by the fact that we don't live just around the corner from our friends anymore.
But even though we haven't seen them in over a year, Matt and Adam didn't waste anytime picking up where they left off in the back yard with swords. And Seth and Makayla teasing each other. And Travis crushing on Morgan as she played a piano piece from memory at the age of 5. I hope she writes to Travis on his mission. And then Shannon and I can plan the wedding together.
Tom and Joel talked while Shannon and I went on a walk rambling as fast as we could about everything that has happened in the past year before our time was up. We didn't even come close to covering it all, and I didn't get in any whining about missing her so much. We were both wearing grey, which is funny and familiar.
And I think I remember them promising to move back very soon because they miss these small houses in southern California, and the weather, and they are tired of living near family, and want our kids to grow up together and fall in love. I'll bring real estate flyers when we take the trip to Sedona. Tell Joel to put in for a transfer.

Opposite Week

August 30 started the first official day of NOT Back to School Week. It started a week of no chores and no curfews and no rules about not eating dessert for dinner. The week was sort of like 'opposite day', and the kids wondered if they could go around breaking things in the house too.

DAY ONE
1. Made forts
2. At Handel's Ice Cream for dinner
3. Ordered pizza for dessert
4. Played DS games and iTouch games
5. Watched movies

DAY TWO
6. Went to the beach
7. Went bowling
8. Ate lots of skittles
PLUS 1 and 4

DAY THREE
9. Went golfing
10. Raced go carts
11. Paddles boats for golf balls
Plus 1 and 4

DAY FOUR:
12. Camped in the back yard
13. Shopped for clothes and back packs
Plus 1 and 4

DAY FIVE:
15. Went to Toys R Us
16. Ate Dippin' Dots
Plus 1 and 4 and 7 and 12


By day 4, my body was fully resisting all the fun. It was also probably in denial too. Denial that I came up with this idea on my own and denial that I committed to an entire week of 'opposite days'. The kids were good sports when I pulled the plug and asked for some help with chores by Friday.

Part of me hopes they remember this for years to come. Another part of me knows if they do remember, this week of NOT Back to School will become tradition. Hopefully this time next year, my own memory will fail me like it usually does, and I'll be just as excited to start NOT Back to School Week as I was on DAY ONE this year.

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1.02.28

Book Clubs Are Meant For Dancing

The 3rd annual Girl's Book Club began with the book, The Bronze Pen, and ended with 2 police cars. That's all.

I'm not sure Makayla read the book. She did dance in the parking lot and bowled skittle style with her 5 friends though. This has nothing to do with The Bronze Pen, and everything to do with the police cars.

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1.02.28

Ninjas Wear Green Wigs?

One of the best things I could have done for Travis before starting kindergarten was to have him participate in a play... on stage... in front of hundreds of people. And so, I did. I can't take credit though. Aunt Summer insisted he join Matthew on stage, and I didn't believe in a million years Travis would go through with it. But, he did.
It took me 10 minutes to find my two boys during the performance. All children look the same once you put a green wigs on them and paint their faces orange. Can you see Matt hiding behind Travis in this pic? All my other pictures turned out blurry. Operator error.

They both were Oopma Loompas and Travis was also a squirrel. They both met new friends, got to wear jazz shoes, and learned choreography, blocking and improvisation. Like when Travis went on the wrong side of the stage during the 1st song to the 2nd act and couldn't find Matt, he made eye contact with Dad in the front row and started dancing anyway.

Tom: "They are called ninja shoes."

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1.02.28

Sometimes I Use Power Tools

I drove to home depot the other morning before anyone was out of bed. When I came home, Tom was in the kitchen making eggs. We reversed roles for a couple of days. I sanded and hammered and painted Makayla's room as it sat empty while she was in Utah.
The character came free with this door I picked up at the salvage yard for $35. I told Tom I want a belt sander for Christmas. He said we could borrow his dad's for a long time, which sounded to me more like I don't want to buy you a sander for Christmas...and I'll probably buy you earrings instead.
The camera was ready when Makayla came home and opened her bedroom door for the first time. The memory card was FULL. She was thrilled and thankful.

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1.02.28

I Didn't Play in the Boxes

I'm giving myself permission to exhale this morning. The past few months my breathing has been short, frequent and labored.

We moved.

It is worth every packed box and random bruise. The boys come in every night dirtier than the one before. Makayla's closet is exponentially bigger than her old one, so she has arranged and rearranged it to the 3rd power. And even though I didn't have a working washing machine for a week, (I know...imagine the chaos) this new place feels good. It feels like home.

Long live the fort of boxes on our back patio.

(I backdated a BUNCH of posts...keep reading...)

Our Last Visitors on Linda Drive

My sister, Amy came to California for her birthday and of course to visit me and to learn to surf. Larry took her surfing twice in exchange for my new massage skills.

Everyone played in the tree in our front yard except me. We ate and ate and ate sushi and more sweets than I usually eat in a year; like birthday cake, (seen here), Tom's famous crepes, and homemade elephant ears right before we sent them on a plane back to Nebraska.

They'll be back.

He's Gaining Bravery

Preschool Graduation is the first time Travis stood before an audience and actually sang a song. He didn't sing, Each of Us is a Flower, though. Tom said it was because he knew it was a girly sounding one.

He said he's ready for kindergarten and his teachers all think so too. I'm still praying for more time. Read more here.

You Say 'Hill', I Say 'Tell'

For Travis's birthday, he asked to go to a 'hilltel'. He knows it's 'hotel' now. I should have had more restraint. I didn't correct Makayla when she used to say 'over rails' for overalls or Matthew when he'd call his shoes 'tena boos'. These affections expire too soon as it is.

He also asked for luggage and a custom cake. And he got everything. Especially after I heard this:

Matt: (For his birthday cake) I want toothless (the dragon) on it with iron man too.

Travis: Matt! (angrily) Mom can't make that.

Me: Yes I can.

Travis: I want a secret spy agent who walks on the ceiling with laser eyes and a green bad guy with fire coming out of his shoes. (random)

Our amazing friend Glenn created this cake top for Travis's birthday.

I'm still learning about Travis and his ways of being. He's only 5 ya know.

He has clear intention and always has. He is tender and loves affection, but only if it's me or dad. He is funny and clever and so very smart. He's not comfortable around strangers and he's still learning how to treat his friends. He doesn't like to comb his hair, wear matching clothes or go to church...yet.

I know in my heart, I was meant to be Travis's mom.

He noticed immediately his honor board didn't have one single picture of Makayla. Here you go, Travis...I usually accept a challenge...and you usually get what you want.

(Going through pictures, I forgot this one. And it shouldn't be forgotten. Makayla made these for Travis. Proof...she likes him.)

G'day M8 He's 8

The Church of Jesus Christ of

Latter-Day Saints

REDONDO FIRST WARD BAPTISM

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Presiding: Bishop Dennis Cottle

Conducting: Paul Clark

Pianist: Amy Clark (My dear friend who moved most recently)

Chorister: Bonnie Crook (My North Star)

Opening Song: I Am a Child of God Pg. 301

Opening Prayer: Shannon Allard

Talk on Baptism: Tim Curtis

Baptism of Max Allard by Elder Paul Bluthe

Baptism of Matthew Curtis by Tom Curtis

Slide Show Interlude (Created by Shannon...amazing!)

Talk on Holy Ghost: Collin Jager

Confirmation of Max Allard by Elder Paul Bluthe

Confirmation of Matthew Curtis by Tom Curtis (Beautiful Blessing...as always)

Primary Welcome: Karalea Richards (Primary President...dear friend)

Bishop’s Welcome: Bishop Cottle

Closing Song: The Church of Jesus Christ

Closing Prayer: Tom Curtis

Here is another opportunity to remember Matthew's divinity. He turned 8.

I am so blessed he was born into MY family. Just as Tom said in his blessing...he is a ROCK for our family. To me, he is pure light, obedient, present, innocent, compassionate, creative, and courageous. Matthew I love you.

The T-Shirts Were Green This Year

More than 4,500 people participated in this year's Mud Run. I was very quick to get my race number, but not so quick to finish the race. Of course, I beat the 2 hour 45 minute time limit. This year was a different experience as I walked the entire course (minus a few jog sprints).

Spring Break -The 3 Month Old Draft

Spring Break 2010 we went camping with the Richards and Goldsteins minus Tim and partly Tom and plus another Mikayla. That's all I remember because when I drafted this post, I didn't write anything. The entry was only titled Spring Break.

Oh, wait. I do remember the hike. And picnicking along the way. And the stream behind our camp site. And enjoying time with amazing friends who make me laugh.

And making a mental note of how much my boys love being outside. And then deciding to move...

Hunts Part 2

I love peeps. I also love this blender I found while hunting down a replacement for the one I broke. Tom bought it for me just because...and gave it to me for Easter.

My life is at least an 8 lane autobahn; projects going at top speed weaving in and out of my consciousness.

I love the simplicity of the 1 button on the front. This blender is either on or off.

It's either working or not working. It's what I want my life to be instead of an 8 lane autobahn. I want my life to be an Osterizer with 1 button.

Hunts Part 1

The boys spent Easter with cousins on Tom's side at Linda's house. Dylan's 4 and only 4 months older than Travis.
Alora is 18 mos. and was the most fun to watch gather the eggs. I couldn't keep up with the older boys to even get a good picture.
Matt is nearly 8 and still equipped with a light saber at all times.
This was Travis's second Easter egg hunt. The first one was at a park hosted by his preschool.
This is Travis with his first girl friend, Julia.
He's almost 5.