The Living Legacy of Love

The mistletoe is dead and almost falling, but the memories of Christmas this year aren't. Especially memories of so many kisses under this doorway; some passionate and some stolen, some for the first time ever and some with everyone watching.

Matthew: Was that your 2nd time mom?

Me (after some thought): Well, yes, it actually was Matthew and thank you.

Matthew is pretending to be Santa with his plastic bag filled with gifts of paper airplanes. This year he asked if Santa was real. My mom always jokingly said if you didn't believe in Santa, you didn't get presents. I explained to Matthew about St. Nick of Turkey, and how he went about giving gifts, which inspired others to do the same. One man inspired at least one person, and over generations of time created a living legacy of red and white and gifts and kindness.
My ornament from my childhood made it on the tree this year. Her one leg is burned from years ago, and I still call her Christy as in Christy Knecht, my best friend growing up.

This year we got a new Christmas tree brought to us by my friend Karalea. She just so happened to find it at an estate sale and knew it would fit perfectly in our living room corner and display our family ornaments of Christmases past.
This year we were blessed and we celebrated Christmas morning together opening our abundant gifts from Grammy, Brother and Sister Crook, Santa, and each other. Our first gift to open was the baby Jesus; reminding us of His perfect gift. That one man inspired at least one person, and over generations of time and throughout all eternity created a living legacy of red and white and giving and kindness. The gift of LOVE.

It's Official...Our Christmas Letter

I'm reconsidering sending out Christmas letters again after receiving so many this year from friends and family. This picture would have been a good one to send with the letter.

Here is Travis asserting his decision to be in the picture, and yet, not part of the 'dogpile'. He has a loving and strong willed spirit, which keeps me active, exhausted, and filled with love all at the same time. Which you might not have imagined possible, but it is; and I wish everyone could experience it. This picture doesn't show, but his pants are 2 inches above his ankles because he's growing and is in denial. So am I. I'm holding on to every last memory this year at preschool while I watch him choose to be friends with the 'mean' kid and manage the girl crushes. He's doing so good at both.

Matthew is laughing hysterically as he spanks me. Once, for Mother's Day, Tom recorded an audio bite of Matthew's laughter, which is a fitting remedy for anything. Usually Matthew laughs at his own jokes and gets us laughing too, but sometimes, he laughs at gross boy things, which I usually allow because the laughter comes from the belly and is so infectious. Matthew doesn't have a serious bone in his body and is invariably in character at any given moment. At every given moment. My favorite character is a Jedi knight, probably because I get to be the princess.

Makayla is most likely turned away from the camera to encourage Travis to participate and maybe also to tell Matthew to stop spanking me. I'm enjoying that she is old and mature enough to babysit, and she is enjoying spending the money she makes. Saturdays you might find her playing soccer, shopping, socializing with friends, or traveling to Utah visiting her dad. She's learning to juggle family, school and soccer well, which is a skill required for someone who wants to be a mom or a hairdresser or both when she grows up.

Tom is steady. Here he is bearing the weight of the family without straining and with a handsome grin. Even though I'm balancing as much weight as I can, he still is steady under the pressure; more than just the weight in this photo too. Tom may be similar to the character in the fable, The Tortoise and the Hare. Tom is slow. And even though Tom is destined to win, he refuses to admit it's a race.

I believe it's always a race. Why not? It might just be fun; like this picture. It also might be fun to become a licensed massage therapist or a treasurer on the board of the preschool or a leader in primary or the soccer coach or creator of the next adventure. Because life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.

We are back in California and are blessed to be around family and near the ocean again. I shouldn't have cropped out the word Family etched in the sand at the bottom of this picture. Because that is exactly what we are. From ours to yours...Happy Holidays!

Everyone Should Get A Wrist Shield for Their Birthday

Every birthday deserves a celebration, especially Tom's 36th. My plan was the usual breakfast presented in bed while singing the Happy Birthday Song followed by gifts, cards, dinner out together, and of course his Honor Board.

Matthew had other plans and even made his own invitations. I was doubtful about pulling off a Surprise Party, but my friend Karalea offered her home and talents for Friday, December 4th. She not only cleaned and decorated her house, supplied snacks and hummus for dipping, and made the Rice Krispie cake (a new favorite in our home), but she also made 14 dozen peanut butter cookies just in case...

Matthew used careful thought in choosing the guest list, consisting of the Goldsteins, the Richards, Tom's whole family, and even the Bishop. The Bishop, mostly because Matt noticed Tom talking with him more during our daughters' soccer games and probably not because of anything else.

From the time the invitations went out, I noticed the printer paper tray getting smaller and smaller and Matthew tucked secretly in his room. His best imaginative creation was a birthday hat and matching wrist shield, which everyone should have for their special day.

Mandy helped keep the secret by taxiing our kids to the Richards' house just in time for the SURPRISE. And we almost made it without Tom suspecting a thing, which is a miracle after the clever maneuvering, lying, and cheating I did all day.

The party was a success, the food excellent, the company perfect, the host gracious, the planner satisfied, and the guest honored. Happy Birthday, Tom.

Celebrating the Emptiness

Tuesday I went to Massage Therapy School for 9 hours while Travis and Tom stayed home and put gum and peanut butter in their hair. Tom kept up with photos for this post; I need all the help I can get. I've lost 12 hours a week and started another journal entitled My Experience As A Student in Massage Therapy School.

Recent posts include my fascination with the quadratus lumborum and the erector spinae and celebrating the fact that I am getting a 90% in anatomy. I celebrate in class when I recall what I've previously learned, which seems an inappropriate response because of all the odd looks. I'm going to celebrate anyway. If those teenagers only knew.

I'm also celebrating the time I found this week to finally finish my wedding gift project for a treasured friend who was married in July. Celebrating the empty corner of my dining room, it's completion after having to start over once, and that the gift will make it to the happy couple within a year of their marriage. They should expect it to be wrapped to look like a gift from the heart because it's from me.

Speaking of a gift from the heart...Panjo's new owners emailed today letting us know how much fun she's having running on the trails, eating pig ears, and playing with the other dogs in the snow. Apparently, the other dogs are light weights, and her heavy coat has finally found a use here in California. We're waiting for a tiny video clip showing her trip to the "beauty salon". And when I told Matt and Travis about Panjo, my heart filled and started celebrating the joy of her freedom.

Trading Green for a Whistle

Some things work out like when I went to get a cake for the end of the season soccer party and the bakery suggested 24 cupcakes in the shape of a soccer ball, which looks like a cake, instead. Brilliant, isn't it?

I fell in love with each of these boys. From left to right and back to front:

Leandro for his growth in soccer skill and attitude. Jacob (blocked by Luca's head) for his leadership and heart. Dean for his huge kicks and great manners. Adam for his energy and defense skills. David for his fun personality.

Luca for his natural instincts in goal. Matthew for his love of the game and measurable improvement. Johnny for his spunk and speed. And Max (not pictured) for his team spirit.

And although my favorite part was getting to know the boys, this was my first and last year as assistant coach. I wanted to run off the field at the first practice and quit. And I would have if the team banner hadn't been made with my name above the words assistant coach.

Next year, I'll make a good team mom or I might even volunteer to be a line flagger. Or better yet, I could get licensed to referee and Tom can take a picture of me in a referee uniform with black knee highs and a whistle around my neck. Can you picture it? Green wasnt' my color anyway.

Jacob, my heart, on the left next to Dean, with thumbs down.

Thanks and Giving

This was my second year participating in the 5K Turkey Trot, and as I got my number and free shirt, I delighted in the fact that my long-sleeve wardrobe almost doubled.

After the run, I joined Tom and the boys at the annual church football game. We stayed after to play soccer until we about passed out from hunger and fatigue.

Thankfully, Linda still hosts Thanksgiving dinner for Tom's family. I brought homemade crescent rolls, french beans with almonds, citrus sugar cookies with royal icing, and a pumpkin ice box with fresh whipping cream. Matthew said the prayer while Tom's family (minus his dad) held hands in a circle. I'm sure Tom's mom was thankful to have all 6 grandchildren present along with all 7 children alive and healthy.

We didn't deliver Thanksgiving dinners this year as a family. Our intention is to be open to whatever inspiration comes with respect to giving. An opportunity did come on Friday when Tom was about to go home for a nap. What he did instead is one of the reasons I love him.

A friend of mine has a son with leukemia and happened to be in the hospital on Thanksgiving. A quick trip to Miller's Children Hospital 30 minutes away to spread some love wasn't planned, but Tom was easily persuaded.

This small act was a perfect reminder of my thanks for healthy children and of giving to those who aren't. A reminder of St. Jude Children's Research Hospital and our fondness of their vision. A reminder of our journey there and what is currently missing here; a boldness, a oneness, a noble woman, a family of means.

And then Tom took me to see the movie The Blind Side, which reminded me again of my thanks and giving. Makayla said the movie makes me want to change my life. It makes me what to thank and give.

Unoccupied Messes May Bring More Power

Matt went back to school today, and the medicine sitting on the table for the past 5 days found its way back to the cupboard until next time. I knew the end of his sickness was approaching because I kept finding unoccupied messes around the house again; a sure sign Matthew's better.

While Matt was sick, Travis earned a "WHAT A GREAT KID" coupon by making Matt toast, setting up a movie for him in his bedroom, and letting him borrow his water bottle.
Thankfully, Grandma took care of Matthew last Thursday, so I could shop with Travis to spend his reward. Apparently, it was burning a hole right through his pocket, which isn't good because he only has 2 pair of pants that he'll wear. And they both happened to be dirty this morning because I had no laundry soap.

Luckily, I was in possession of my mother powers today because I didn't have any money to buy more pants or soap.

My car will be leaving in 10 minutes. You can leave hungry or not hungry.

Travis had other priorities besides eating. He was frozen in his room unable to pick an outfit for school after I vetoed his idea to steal from the dirty pile.

What I did next is exactly why Tom picked me to be the mother of his children and why Travis will someday be well adjusted.

My car will be leaving in 2 minutes. You can wear clothes or you can go naked, unless you want to put on some underwear.

Matthew asked Travis on our way to school, "Why are you naked?", to which Travis replied, "I'm not. I'm wearing underwear."

There are at least 100 ways in which I won today, but mostly, I am celebrating how cool I remained through the whole ordeal; never giving up my power.

And although he didn't earn another "WHAT A GREAT KID" coupon for his behavior, I think I earned credits toward my doctorate in parenting, or maybe I just earned more power.

Things You Can Do While Taxiing or Laying In Bed

Last night before going to sleep, I laid in bed celebrating the day I had. Celebrating Travis. When he was 2, he kept saying, "Almost there, mom", on our family hike because he knew my sighs were from exhaustion and from carrying him.

He likes to take my hand while walking up the steep sidewalk from the elementary school to the park and huff, "We're almost there."

He didn't know Matt had the advantage at skeeball, and he didn't see Matt's rewards spilling onto the floor. He didn't even notice when the girl next to him took his only 2 tickets.

He is blind to the emptiness in the glass. He reminds me daily.

Today at the store, I was carrying a basket to the cashier wondering out loud if it was too big. Well mom, if it's too big, we could just bring it back. He wasn't thinking about it not being the right size or the hassle of standing in the return line.

Oh, I do love this about him and a hundred other things like how he loves to cuddle. He's been that way since birth, and I remind him of that. Not because he's forgotten it, but because he loves to hear about his infancy.

So, that's what I did on Wednesday while we were taxiing in the car to church. I started with Makayla and reminded her how she hated bottles and drank out of a cup at 5 mos. How she loved to be rocked to sleep, which was wonderful and exactly opposite of Matthew who would cry if I rocked him and coo once I plopped him in his bed with his kissing bear.

Matthew and Travis laughed hysterically when I told them how they would eat and poop and eat and sleep and eat and poop. And both Makayla and Travis had blankets and Matthew had a bottle in the middle of the night until he was 18 mos.

We got to the church just in time as we ran out of more good things to say about babies. But that is no accident. Thanks Travis for reminding me the glass is sometimes half full and not just too big.

Remember Indoor Soccer?

The kids have been patient. Tonight may have been a turning point. Or it may have just been that I was too sick to tell them to stop.

In Utah, we had a long and HUGE family room/kitchen space where the kids would play nerf soccer. Actually, we all played on the hardwood floor using a doorway and the space in between the island and the counter as goals.

It took months to notice the nerf ball slowly deteriorating, even though I'd vacuum the tiny yellow flakes daily. I didn't discard the ball until we moved back to California. It was death for both the ball and our hope for indoor soccer; the house here is tiny.

In April, when we pulled up the carpet and had the hardwood refinished in the living room, Makayla tried to revive the family sport.

I would have said, "yes", if...

... if it weren't for the original 1940's picture window in the front room of our house.

... if we weren't renting.

... if the space was bigger.

... I could go on.

But, something tonight made me remember. Remember how laid back I used to be to allow indoor soccer. The noise of their pounding feet, their yelling, their crying...their laughing. Something about it reminded me of me. Where have I been? They have been so patient.

Welcome Pumpkin

I prefer Autumn over Fall or any other season of the year.  Spring is a close second, but the crisp weather, the colors, and the food of Autumn beat new flowers or even warm rain.  

It's still hot here in Southern California and there are no leaves to rake into creative castles like I did when I was young, but we still carve pumpkin moonshine. 

At preschool today, Travis told his teacher how to carve a pumpkin. 

You take a spoon and you scoop out the seeds and put them on a plate. Oh,  ya, and you cut the top off. Then you grab some and then put it, and grab some and put it. Then you cut eyes, a mouth, and nose. Then you put in it a candle. And then you take pictures. 

He forgot to tell her about using the staple gun to put the pumpkin back together after it split.

And I was relieved he didn't tell how Matt carved slits in his pumpkin moonshine's face for dramatic blood effect. 

He also didn't tell her how I pretended to get injured by the staple gun, which sent Makayla into a frenzied fit where she begged me to let her skip school the next day. Wha?

She won skipping school and not because I wasn't a clever mother, but because she really was sick. All over my wall. Wha?

And even though Autumn usually does yield increased sickness, I still prefer it. 

Indeed, I am welcoming old scarves, pumpkin bread, and abundance. 

Ordering Dessert, Please

I see progress. It's invisible to the average mother, but not to me. And in moments when Travis is noticed behaving, I smile briefly. If you only knew, you'd pat me on the back for this...or even give me a hug. Because heaven knows I deserve it.

I feel pressure, though. This is Travis' last year before I send him off to be cared for by others. I'm still waiting on my petition from heaven for more time. 

During recess at preschool, I was either patting myself on the back or taking pictures with my phone. These girls are the same girls who used to leave school wondering why the cutest boy in class ignored them. 

Matthew's kindness and willingness to play whatever girls want guarantees him lots of attention, but Travis has a completely different approach, which initially just confused the girls.   

Here they sit resting and quenching their thirst before they are chased by the monster, again. And when the monster fell, all the girls affectionately drew him chalk pictures on the concrete. 

I would have patted myself on the back if he hadn't ignored them, again.  Songs from Beauty and the Beast started playing in my head. Sigh...

My petition for a night alone was well deserved and answered just in time to save my children from further atrophy at home.

The kids packed themselves for a grandma sleep over this past weekend. If Matthew gets his socks wet 3 times, he's still very prepared. (This just makes me laugh out loud.)

Imagine my delight at the independence of it all.

After dinner, we came back to a very quiet house. 

And then it happened. In the quiet house, while meditating in the bath, a sudden, intuitive perception that got me talking more than Tom expected. 

My life is how I eat my dinner. Broccoli first. Get the ugly out of the way early, so I can enjoy the rest. 

I'm eating crab right now. And it's good, but I don't usually order dessert. And so...

I decided to order dessert. Not at the restaurant...in life. 

Crispy apple crumb. Coconut chocolate cheesecake. Frozen Yogurt. 

Heaven knows.

The Electrodes of Fall

I'm out of batteries, and enthusiasm, and confidence; all things really necessary for a well-functioning mom.

The camera is holding evidence of our recent soccer games. Evidence that Tom and I are coaching Matt's BU8 team and that Matthew and Makayla have the same colored jerseys this season. Blue and Grey.

If a person only has a limited amount of enthusiasm, I'm certain I've used it all being a coach. I picked up some irritation, which surprisingly doesn't replace enthusiasm at all. 

Get up and play soccer. You are on a team. Be a team player!!!

I've found being a mom and coach at the same time is more of a sport than soccer.

And if you only knew the difficulty shifting from coach back to mom on the sidelines of Makayla's games. The discipline. 

I wouldn't change it for anything at all, ever. It's so perfect and FUN. 

And lucky for you, my phone did capture the donut eating contest at Alora's birthday party last weekend, or you'd have to create your own imagery for this ENTIRE post. 

I don't have evidence of the birthday girl, age ONE, participating in this event. Regardless, it was fun to watch.

At one point, Matt's cheeks were so full of donut and his eyes looked fearful he might lose it all, but he still finished. And wonders what the prize was for it.

It's October all ready, and I'm looking forward to carving pumpkin moonshine, fall weather, and Thanksgiving (my 2nd favorite holiday). And if everyone respected my opinion and independence, I'd personally wear a sign that reads...I loathe Halloween. 

That alone would renew my confidence while fall renews enthusiasm. As if I were some sort of rechargeable battery...if only...

Finding Humor Instead of Order

I'm still waiting for structure and order to accompany back-to-school. I anticipated rhythm. My calendar is fuller than summer. For that and not only that, I miss summer.

Blogging has been replaced with facebook status updates, which are generally cryptic and random. You might use cryptic and random to describe my existence right now. Imagine the angels.

One status update I failed to post fearing it wouldn't be as funny to everyone else as it was to me, turned out to be funnier.

Initially, it might have looked like this:

Melissa Miller Curtis just overheard Matthew say, "Travis, I found us a manager today for our rock band", while Tyler and Thomas curiously followed up with several questions.

Two days later when picking Matt up after school, the manager handed Matthew a HUGE sign he made for marketing purposes. I can imagine the teacher's confusion.

I introduced myself to the manager's parents at Back To School Night and learned they are as excited as I am about the boys' creativity and the imminent cash flow. I mean, they are selling popcorn for $5 or maybe $10, so we expect immediate returns.

On Tuesday, Travis and I visited the farmer's market looking specifically for pomegranates. Earlier in June, I deferred Travis' determination for pomegranates until "after school started".

Discounting Travis' clear intention, I didn't anticipate finding pomegranates this early in the season. Travis made his dad proud when he threw his fists high above his head and yelled, "We have pomegranates", to Matt after school. Who knew?

Travis Is Fine Saying Good-Bye

Opening my journal today reminded me, I haven't written in it for 364 days - about the time I started blogging. 

And even though I am behind on my writing and want to move past all the posts written in my head, I'm going to post a couple of experiences with no regrets.

Growing up, my new school clothes hung in my closet with the tags on until the anticipated first day. I remember that just as vividly as I remember getting a school blessing each new school year.

The picture above is Matt getting ready for his blessing wearing his new long sleeve school shirt in 80 degree weather. I am in gratitude for a husband who gives his time and gift to bless his children.

I am also grateful for such a cool son in long sleeve rocker shirt and shades brushing his teeth before the first day.

This is the last year Travis has to watch his brother and sister begin a school year without him, which is not a problem for Travis...at all...

My camera didn't have batteries, which is why this is the 2nd consecutive year I've taken pictures after school for Makayla and maybe why she isn't smiling.

 

These school pictures definitely show Makayla is now in the 7th grade and also, that she is as stylish and funny as she looks.

 

Southern Accents Still Loom

Tom, remember that time at the ward party when you were asked to MC as a hillbilly character? 

Billy Jedidiah was born specifically for the Hillbilly Hoedown Steak Fry church activity on Sept. 12.  I played along as his pregnant, barefoot wife.

I'd like to blame the hostess and aspiring voice-over, Mandy, for his exaggerated and comical entertainment. He didn't win the bake-off with his easy cheese triscuits, but he awarded prizes like a VCR Entertainment , Electrical Computer, and Big Mouth Billy Bass for the winning Howdy and Dinner calls. 

Makayla and Matthew both dressed the parts too, and yet I don't have proof Matt wore his cowboy hat and bandana. 

My pillow-stuffed belly was not only entertaining, but useful and blessed for holding this adopted non-hillbilly.

A Letter's Yearning

Dear Blogger:

I miss you and reading, but mostly you. Maybe I'll find some time this week to write about all the mountains I've climbed...about... 

~Me trading in my friend Ruby for Valerian (At least it seems that way.)

~A new possibility that opened up and the corresponding opportunities regarding passion.

~Revisiting parenting 101 and basic german shepherd. Please sit. 

~A loving reprimand that opened my heart space, wide. (Don't get any ideas...just because I take criticism well, except from my dh, doesn't give you the...)

~Mammas bidding Tuesday beach day goodbye in the water. 

~The beginning of school, soccer and order.

~A blast from my hillbilly past.

~The joy of remembering wholeness. I found some powers. 

Please be patient. You are still my passion.

Warmest Regards,

Me

The Pipes Have Collected 75 Days of Dirt

9 days left before the kids return to school. 

Today was the last beach day before the last beach day of summer. It's only taken an entire summer to get both of my boys into the water.

The sunscreen bottles are empty, the boys have solved and played every puzzle and game in the house, and everyone is determined to protest going to bed early again.

Travis is ready to start school again, but Matt is uneasy  about leaving behind things like this...

The Solstice Adventurers & the Search for the Family Stone!

We took 15 kids (11 boys and 4 girls) up to Solstice Canyon in Malibu for an Indiana Jones' Day. Karalea, Amy, Mandy, Cari, kids and I hiked, while our kids enjoyed a pre-planned scavenger hunt. (Thanks to Karalea for amazing creativity and planning.)

3 of us had hiked this previously and got the idea to bring our kids back to scavenge the ruins of an old burned down house for adventure and treasure. 

At the site of the family stone, we stopped for a picnic and more adventure climbing rocks and waterfalls. 

After finding the Family Stone and treasure, the group fell into typical Indiana Jones' traps on the hike back. 

Like Monkey Brains (green licorice twisted together), Giant Boulders (HUGE gumballs), Rat and Rat Poop (chocolate covered raisins), and Snakes, Why does it always have to be snakes? (gummy worms).

Matt proclaimed this day the best of his life. Then, Aaron echoed his words, while the moms looked on acknowledging the hike made us, undoubtedly, the best moms ever.  

The dirt slipped down the drain from the boys' bath evidence of a fun day. If dirt measures the amount of fun, this day was the most fun of the entire summer with today's beach day coming in a close 2nd.