Not One VHS tape or a Book.

Things I learned from having a yard sale: 

1. To get people to come, all you have to do is post one sign. 

A local realtor sponsors, coordinates, and advertises for a neighborhood garage sale NOT in my neighborhood. But he said, he could put me on the list anyway if I wanted. Last night I finally decided I would not do a garage sale, but when I got home from the mall, a sign was in my yard. There must have been a miscommunication. And it was probably on my part.

After a late night with masking tape and a sharpie, I woke excited for the garage sale. Except, the sign was gone. Am I not on the list anymore? Everything is ready to go, how will I get customers? 

I drove down the street and posted a sign. By the time I returned home, Matthew was holding $3 and a sedan was pulling from the curb.

2. If the price is too high, no one will buy. If the price is just right, they will pay half.

Unfortunately for me, I priced too low and they still only offered me half. I'm pretty generous, except when it came to the Little Tikes Firehouse. The sun was almost directly overhead and the traffic was steadily declining, I refused to barter that firehouse. So as I sat guarding the money box, I listed the firehouse on craigslist.org.

3. Every garage sale must have a FREE box. 

The FREE box brings smiles to a garage sale. But I was offended that no one wanted a VHS tape. Not one. As shoppers picked through my belongings and discounted or dismissed items, I felt insulted that they'd pay $.75 for a candy bar and only $.50 for a shirt!

Matthew and Travis worked the snack bar and it was a big hit. You should note, however, that if you sell food, you might eat your profits. 

4. Not everyone is honest. 

At the start of the sale, people were swarming and speaking other languages. Everything was happening so fast. My main focus was to guard the money and Matthew. And I am certain several things left without being paid for. 

I asked Matthew, Did those boys pay for those chips? No. You've got to tell them the prices. Why? he looked nervous and his avoidance of confrontation felt familiar.

Because if you don't, they may just take it. And so they did.

One family was almost loaded back into their van, when the dad came back to pay Matthew $.50 because his son had taken 2 Mike & Ikes. And so when the old grandma asked how much one of Makayla's cute shirts was I said, Gratis. I am a sucker for honesty.

Another person asked for a $.75 candy bar and gave Matthew a dollar. Matthew handed him two quarters in change. The man closed his hand and left. 

I let him. 

He rattled to his friend in their private language, while looking back over his shoulder as he walked to his car. Really? He sold out for $.25? Well, that is not worth confrontation.

5. Some things you can't give away.

Which is why I love DI. The DI trailer never rejects my offering. Tom was away for most of the morning, but after returning, he pointed out the unwanted clothes on the rack were mine. I guess no one wanted your clothes. He took a huge risk saying that. Lucky for him, I was in a pretty good mood because I made that clothing rack with PVC pipe myself.

My clothes and other items not sold went into a small box for the DI trailer. Well, everything except some books. No one bought a book either, which is just outrageous. 

I took my sign down. The cars stopped slowing down in front of the house. I watered my new plants. The firehouse didn't sell. But I'm holding out for the right buyer. 

Likely to Change

labile (LAY-byl) /adj./ open to change. likely to change. adaptable. constantly or readily undergoing change or breakdown. unstable.

1. For months now I've been too labile, too prone to my own intimidating thoughts about purchasing another piano. But Easter Sunday we moved in my new (well, USED) Baldwin. The piano was well loved even if it is a bit out of tune.  

Tonight as Matthew was finishing up homework, I sat to play my favorite piece of all time, "Clair de Lune" by Debussy. To my astonishment (or not), I can still play this piece. When I finished Matthew asked if I could play "Crazy Frog" by Axel F. Then he told me listening to me play the piano helped him concentrate better at homework. (his words)

I had to ask, which song? 

I proudly played, at his request, "Clair de Lune" again knowing his labile personality, funny and clever, never predictable, and capable of abrupt opinion changes.

2. Makayla's science project was due on Monday. The teacher approved an idea to make lollipops and take an opinion pole on whether homemade lollipops taste better than store bought lollipops. Well, I'd like to take a pole...really? What is scientific about that?

Anyway and luckily, Makayla and her partner couldn't coordinate schedules, so Makayla finished her project alone and added a more scientific element about dissolving sugar molecules.

Makayla is unaware of her lability, but I appreciate the way she goes with the flow in most situations. And anyway and luckily, there were no tears during this project. 

3. As soon as I committed to planting a garden weeks ago, the weather became so labile that between the weather and my threatening to-do list, gardening got put on the list next to organize the garage and alphabetize my spices.

Anyway and luckily, today is Earth Day and I made it home with a trunk full of cucumbers, cilantro, tomatoes, peppers, squash, peas, and fresh soil. 

Travis was in charge of filling the bucket and squirt guns to water the newly un-potted starters. Matthew dug the holes and pulled the roots out while reassuring the plants that they will be settled soon enough.

(today Travis was a zebra at school)

I locked myself away from my labile thoughts about what to plant in my front flower bed. I bought 2 palms, 3 ferns, and transplanted a generously growing green plant from my back yard. I found myself talking to the palms squished in the back of the van. 

You'll be fine. It isn't far. I know there isn't enough room for you to stand up back there. You are in good hands. 

But what I wanted to say, but didn't say was, Be afraid, be very afraid.

4. Each room gets lighter as I pass through gathering the rest of my garage sale items for Saturday. I might not be much more labile than Tom about recycling the excess, but I am certain we discussed replacing the leather chair with a better piece of furniture. If I include it in the garage sale, does that mean my proceeds must be used on the new furniture? This money is earmarked for a refinished hardwood floor!! (I know, I know, it's still not done. See: daunt)

I won't get too worked up over it yet, I'm selling inventory from my cleaning business on eBay and already recovered $198. But I am amazingly labile about what to do with the excess money raised from the garage sale and eBay. I'm open to new furniture, or a new wardrobe, or just a new bathing suit....sheesh those things are expensive!

Ways to Get a Hot Girl or a Mermaid

This put a smile on my face today. I want to remember and cherish it forever. 

I asked the morning routine questions, have you brushed your teeth?

Matthew's hands were folded over his chest and he had a smirk on his face. His hair is starting to cover his eyes, and inside I worry he looks more like a neglected child than the rock star he wants to look like. 

Have you combed your hair? Why am I so indirect? I should have said, please go comb your hair.  But after I heard this, I am glad I didn't.

Not yet. 

But cool dudes don’t use their hands if their hair is in their eyes. They just do this. (Jerking his head to the right to toss his hair out of his face) 

And you’ve got to be yourself.

And that’s how you get a hot girl. Or I might get a mermaid to date. I might. Right?

See What A Blank Calendar Can Do

Spring Break 2009

Many reasons this spring break was great: 

My calendar was completely empty.

Boys being silly with dirty faces while camping.

Crab Shack Girls' Performance. (I hope I correctly used the apostrophe, Tom) The picture doesn't show how short this shirt actually is on Makayla's body. Crab Shack Girls started when it used to hang at her knees. 

Every time these cousins get together, they entertain us with some sort of Crab Shack performance. 

I never thought to dress up like a granny, hobble across the stage to fling panties at the audience. Bravo.

Matthew and friend Brandon battled each other with the force and light sabers as the girls changed during each act. 

Green Go Girls are new to the Crab Shack scene this year. Not only are they wearing green and performing a new song and dance, they are also environmentally conscious. 

May the Crab Shack Girls live forever!

Lauren, Brooke, and Matthew stand at attention for sand games while mom rests under the canopy reading a book. 

Travis, Spencer, sun, sunscreen and sand.

All of the kids played in the sun and sand for hours. We would wash the sand off, apply more sunscreen, feed them, and off they would go.

As I raised the camera for this shot, Makayla rolled her eyes and asked why I wanted to take a picture of her doing dishes. I just said, posterity. 

Whatever.

If I took more pictures, they would have shown:

1. Me relaxing on a blanket getting sunshine while reading my book. 

2. Ty and Susanne and family visiting from Temecula. 

3. Tom in the waves. 

4. Makayla and Lauren (Tammy's daughter) boogie boarding for hours and flirting with Noah.

5. Tiffany cooking her famous ribs and potatoes.

6. Matthew, Scott (Tammy's son), and Brandon(Mikayla's son)tossing the football across the street.

7. Dave playing his guitar.

8. Tammy Jolley and Tom having a facebook war on a laptop while camping. It's just wrong.

9. The dust our car left after we pulled away from the camp site for the 2nd time because we forgot some things the first time. 

What a terrific Spring Break family vacation.

Maybe I Am Not Alone

I enjoyed this beautiful book of love. When the book wasn't in my lap, I filled my mind with 17th century China culture. The book is based on the life and death of a woman who was taught to be beautiful and silent, and like so many women of her time and place just wanted to be heard.

I began to regain my strength, find my resolve, and once again remember that I, like all women and girls, wanted –needed–to be heard.

My grandmother had wanted to be heard and appreciated by her husband, only to be relegated to false martyrdom. Mama had wanted to be heard, only to lose herself. I wanted to be heard, but only by one man. He wanted this from me...when the world, society, and even my mother and father would have preferred me to keep silent. 

It's probably too personal for me to write my tribal beliefs about women. That women should have manners, babies, and suffering. They should be sexy, quiet, and seen, but not heard, stronger than a man or smart. They should not have an opinion, career, or a voice, and should sacrifice self, hide their bodies, and not trust men.

It's probably too personal for me to write about the regrets I have for not using my voice. The times I didn't say no, sorry, or please. Or the times I became a puppet, invisible and cheap because I silenced myself. 

I found my voice, my truth, and my spirit. I also found resistance, culture and rejection from society, my father, and the world. I want to be heard, but only by one man. 

Certainly I am not alone. 

For so long I'd wished to be part of a sisterhood.

I hadn't found it with my angel mother or when she was alive. I hadn't found it in the women's society with the other mothers and sisters and aunts because their experience was different than mine. I hadn't found it with my family because they don't even know I exist. 

And just like Peony, maybe once I've entered the after world, I'll become conscious of the roles I played while I was a mortal. I'll once again remember that I am not alone, that one man wants me to be heard. Maybe unlike Peony I, can create the reality now.

How Good

Today I got a glimpse of the excitement of our upcoming last day of the school year. 

Today is the last school day before Spring Break and almost as exciting.

My children are free from homework bondage, and I am free from a schedule. And that will start right after tonight's baseball and soccer practice. 6:30pm P.S.T.

I didn't have to split myself in 2 like I had imagined today. 

I began my day at Matthew's school for the Jog-A-Thon with a liter of water and 2 hole punches. Suddenly, I regretted not considering the email with instructions to bring just a liter. The blue table had gallon jugs of water under it.  I casually slipped my weak offering under the table and walked away.

Matthew fought through a row of mom's holding hole punchers to get to me for his 10 laps. This was rewarding; a little mother morsel. 

After successfully getting a picture of Matt's classmates for the yearbook collage, Travis and I hustled to the car, which was parked in the "staff only" space near the front. I like to think my mom left that space open for me this morning. 

Only 9 minutes to get to the park for the easter egg hunt and magician show. 

During the egg hunt, it occurred to me I wasn't pointing or managing Travis' search. I was only standing watching and aiming my camera as he confidently found egg after egg. Makayla and Matthew now independently hunt for their easter eggs. And yet, maybe I thought Travis would always need me to point to the available eggs left. 

Later, much later, the emotion of this revelation overwhelmed me and I cried.

Moving on...

It took me 6 minutes to get to Subway because of some road work. I picked up a few extra minutes because the magician show was shorter than I anticipated, which allowed me to get to the picnic on time despite the long sandwich line. 

Matthew asked Travis how he felt playing with the "big year olds". Travis said he was good. 

Speaking of good. We are going away for a few days, and I finished Peony in Love. I am still in process mode, so I will post when I get back from vacation. Happy Spring Break!

Any Ordinary Week

My thoughts have been full of writing material, but I had plenty else to do. My camera has been shy lately leaving me empty handed as I sit at the computer tonight. 

My hands just completed a long awaited project sewing Makayla's 'outer' curtains; the easy ones that float to the floor. As I picked up my camera, she asked if I was going to blog about it. No. The inner curtains will be roman shades, pink ones. 

My nose has been in a book. I'll post about it when I'm finished, and it's oh so good!

My heart has been in launching Random Acts of Kindness Challenge Group and Blog. I have a vision for this group, and so far it has been a fun adventure. I was able to donate $84 for The Breast Cancer 3-day walk for my friend Kristi. She's gotten 24% of her funding so far. Go Kristi! You can get more information about it here.

My head has been running tax numbers; 

1099 

1098

AMT 

Pub. 4563 

Form 982

My deadline is April 15th, so there is an end insight. And this year, I'm only processing 2 business returns, 2 schedule C's, and 4 personal returns. It's a light year.

My body is completely dedicated to the Body for Life 12 week program. I am currently on week 5 and discouragement reared it's ugly head after I stepped on the scale at the gym on Tuesday.  Maybe my body is fighting back for all the years of neglect. As I sit here my hamstring is screaming after my track workout today. Nothing a little ice, compression and stretching won't soothe. 

My starving spirit fought against my ego this past week. Unfortunately, the ego won. I noticed my spirit cautiously return this afternoon. Breathe in, breathe out... Today is another day. Family, please forgive me.