What's in a Final Journal Entry?

Leading up to our Miller family reunion this year in July at the Brianhead, UT cabin, the committees in my mind resumed working overtime.

Is the risk of getting the COVID19 virus worth Matthew seeing family before he leaves on his mission? 

How many large plastic bins of extra food do I need so I feel safe and comfortable while traveling? 

Why haven't I completed digitizing my mom's journals yet for everyone in my family to enjoy? 

Weeks before the start of the reunion, I got back to work typing my mom's journals in digital format and for the first time ever, skipped to read her last entry she wrote just 40 days before she died. The entry on December 25th begins, "Happy Birthday, Jesus." 

From her birthday September 10, 1977, until December 25, 1991, she wrote nearly every single day. Why she stopped writing on Christmas Day, I'll never know, but I think Makayla expects me to commit to a similar daily practice. I didn't confirm nor deny that I've been writing in a journal because I think she'll be disappointed in my lack of entries over the past 8 years and what I've compiled so far. 

This picture is worthy of entry though, do you agree? 

(Left to right: Travis Curtis, Tom Curtis, Melissa Curtis, Matthew Curtis, Amy Miller, Sammy Miller, Delicy Miller, Nathan Miller, Lowell and Ila Miller (in front), Nicholas Miller (2yo), Karol Miller (Nathan's wife), Thad Miller, David Sampson (Tiffany's husband), Sydney Sampson, Gwendolyn Miller (6yo on lap), Tiffany Sampson, Kylie Sampson, Jaemynn Sampson, Norman Miller, Kay Miller, David Thompson (Christina's son), Emily Miller, Madyln (on lap), Hailey Miller, Christina Miller (Michael's wife), Michael Miller, Elise (Klingaman) Niebel, Avery Niebel (3yo on lap), Janelle Klingaman, Kennedy Klingaman (4yo on lap), Daryl Klingaman, Taryn Klingaman (Daryl's wife), Sailor Klingaman (2yo on lap), Sarianna Klingaman, Brook Klingaman (Jacob's wife), Kevin Klingaman (3mos on lap), Jacob Klingaman, and Peter Klingaman.)

Missing from the photo is Ila Mae Miller (deceased), Makayla Young (my daughter left before this pic was taken) and her husband Nick Young, Jordan Miller (Amy's daughter), Raelynn Randall (Tiffany's oldest daughter) and her husband Austin Randall, Cameron Thompson (Christina's son) and his wife Ai (pronounced "eye"), Brent Niebel (Elise's husband).

Nick Young and Makayla recently introduced our family to a new card game renamed "Corona" after the COVID19 virus. With most people quarantining and not physically socializing, many families have replaced parts of their busy schedule with family games around the table. I can't tell for sure but it doesn't look like Matthew is winning here. 

Left to right: Travis Curtis, Matthew Curtis, Janelle Klingaman, Elise Niebel, Jaemynn Sampson, Ila Miller.

Grateful Travis only sustained minimal physical injuries when he flipped the quad and grateful he can participate in archery sitting in a chair brought to him by his cousins Kylie and Thad. Not seen in this picture is also Kylie spraying his wounds multiple times a day with colloidal silver and daily preparing lunch for him. 

Table tennis tournament between Makayla, Tom (not pictured), and Matthew. Makayla's newfound skills proved too much for Matthew but Tom's legacy as the winner will live beyond this reunion. 

Last year when Makayla was at the Brianhead, UT cabin, Sydney, she and I rode ATVs to the abandoned bus location and Makayla carved her and Nick's initials into an Aspen tree. Makayla's stay was too short for her and me to get back to the carved tree this time, so Tom and I took the short ride over to capture this memory for her. 

That would be the last ATV ride for me, however, or for Travis this vacation. I'd rather be hiking, which is my favorite thing to do up in the mountains. The short trail to this waterfall was washed out, Travis is still on crutches, Makayla already left for home, Tom is ...wait for it...fishing, but Matthew and I made it along with (left to right) Michael Miller, Christina Miller, Hailey Miller, Gwendolyn Miller, Nicholas Miller, Karol Miller, Delicy Miller, and Nathan Miller. 

While I was recording this entry, I got a phone call from Makayla. I told her our conversation at the reunion renewed my effort to journal and I was drafting a new blog post.

Maybe she'll read what I've written before I pass because it's strange not being able to talk to a deceased parent about their journal entries. I have so many questions about what details my mom left out, what details she left in, and what was so important to her about being so consistent. 

I'll never be able to ask my mom if her last entry was a reverent wish for Jesus or evidence she was being funny, but "Happy Birthday, Jesus" had me laughing for weeks. I'll also never know when I'll write my last journal entry, but my hope is I leave in all the details and that it brings as much joy to my children as my mom's brought to me.