I admittedly question posting this because well, because it's so personal. And yet, I am inspired to, knowing the right answer will come because I have the most amazing friends and followers and maybe it won't even be as a comment.
My heart has a prayer for my son, Matthew. Inadequacy as his mother is what comes to mind most often. I've always said he is such a breath of fresh air to me. And yet, he is so different from any other child I've ever known.
When he was 3 months old, I had an experience I will never forget or deny and it basically was an admonition to never wound his spirit. As a mother of a 3 month old, I couldn't fathom wounding his precious spirit. Now as he is 6 years old, I won't linger regrets. My prayer went to the universe today and always, but especially today.
I had the opportunity to make clay pastries with 20 first graders today. First we talked about our favorite pastries and then I had them touch their hearts so their creation would come from within. 19 students quickly went to work on donuts, cakes, pies, cupcakes, and ice cream cones.
My son made a dog bone. (breathe) I usually embrace creativity in most forms, but I didn't get his creativity and felt that he deserved to create what we were there to create. If we were painting 12 red poppies, it wouldn't be ok to paint a farm and red barn. And yet, it would be ok to paint 7 poppies withered on the ground. This is my logic and it is my logic that creates my barrier to him and his spirit.
So, here's where you get to inspire me. Here is a picture of my son today. His eyes and smile do tell it all.
What I said was, "This is a nice dog bone and when you play with clay on Fridays with your teacher you can create a man holding the dog bone, but today we are making pastries and treats to eat. What would you like to make?" What I thought was, What in the? 19 other kids 'got' what I said to do and you...dog bone, really?
To which he replied, "A cupcake."
But what I really wanted to say was, "What color would you like to paint the dog bone?" Which to me would create acceptance and love for him, for his spirit. Thank you.
3 comments:
Maybe his favorite treat IS a dog bone. I know my dog thinks they are pretty tasty. You did a great job with him (direction, direction, direction). You did not wound him by directing him into the "light" of sweet desserts. I think that we must press our children to choose the right, whether it is as simple as following a classroom directive or as "not simple" as teaching them about the feelings they have in different settings (which you also did with Mikaela). You are a great mom.
I have a similar issue with Joey. When Joey is directed on his schoolwork to draw a line from one thing to the next (or whatever the task is on those phonics sheets); instead of just simply drawing a straight line, which would take a second, he insosts on making swirls and loops or stairs. Now, most would say; "How clever!"; but I get frusterated, because sometimes he gets marked down for "not following directions". Technically, his loops and stairs did make it from point A to B; but not how the teacher wanted. I love to see his drawings, as I am not artistic; but I hate to see his expression, when he sees that he didn't get full credit on his schoolwork. I wish I had words of advice, just know, that I'm right there with you! :)
Great artists become great by breaking the rules.
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